Couples break up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the rupture occurs spontaneously and in a rush, which both parties may later regret. In some situations, one of the partners feels a lack of attention, while the other does not notice anything. If you broke up, but want to be together again, then learn to behave properly after the break and change your attitude in order to meet again with your partner.
Take your time.
You need time to think, raise your self-esteem and confidence, as well as understand why you want to return an ex-partner. Do not rush to immediately resume relations; otherwise, you risk repeating old mistakes.
How much time is needed? First of all, it depends on the duration of the relationship and on the reasons for the breakup. If you broke up after a major quarrel, then wait at least a couple of days or even a couple of weeks. You need to cool down to calmly and rationally discuss the situation.
Try not to go to social networking sites like Facebook or any other social network at this time. Continuous surveillance of an ex-partner and sad statuses will not help you in any way. Such behavior will worsen your well-being and show others that you are not in order. Take a break from social networks for at least some time.
Take time to reflect on the issues.
The better you understand the reasons for your break, the easier it will be to come together again. What did you do wrong? What is your role in ending a relationship? Did your partner give a good argument for a break or didn’t explain anything? It’s important to realize what went wrong in your relationship.
If you were abandoned without explanation, then try to understand what upset your partner. What did they often dislike? What annoyed the partner? Try to remember the details.
If it was you who initiated the breakup, then think about how you will have to change in order to accept those aspects of the nature of the partner that caused the breakup. Can you come to terms with these aspects?
Try to identify the main relationship problems.
First, think about your own role in the breakup, and then identify problems in the relationship that did not depend on you at all. Sometimes we love a person, but circumstances do not contribute to the development of relations. It is important to understand and think about external issues that could affect relationships:
- problems at work;
- place or distance between you;
- emotional or physical problems;
- financial difficulties;
- sexual problems.
In case if you want some additional help, here’s an article with “how well do you know me” questions, so that you will be able to get closer to your partner.
Work on yourself.
Do everything you need to gain self-confidence. If you behave confidently, the ex-partner will understand that you do not doubt your desires and goals. Self-confidence will confirm your ability to change and show that you are ready to become an excellent partner.
Do not rush to talk with your ex-partner if you have a miserable look and are still crushed by the break. Do not try to convince a partner to return to you for the reason that you are depressed. You must convince your loved one that you are a welcome partner.
Get ready for important changes.
Why would a partner come back to you if your relationship is not working out? Start to change and gradually become a different person to show why the partner should renew relations with you. Determine which aspects of the personality you need to change in order to become better. Do not hesitate!
If you need to pay attention to health or stop leading a loose lifestyle, then throw away all cigarettes and sign up for a gym. By the time you meet with a partner, you must take the first steps to change, and not make regular promises.
Contact a partner if you have changed.
If, after thinking about the problems and your role in breaking up your relationship, you come to the conclusion that you should be together again, then contact your ex-partner and offer to talk. Call or write a message to arrange a personal meeting.
If you are not sure that the person will answer the call, then send a short message, note, or email with the words: “I think a lot about you. We need to talk. Do you mind if I call?”
If you have not changed after parting, then it is possible that it is better not to renew the relationship at all. Do not try to return a person just because you are sad. New relationships with old problems will come to a similar end, so behave yourself and release your partner.
If the partner does not want to communicate with you, then the relationship is over. Dot. You can wait a couple more months and try to talk again, but a positive outcome is unlikely. Humble yourself and move on.